Making fantastical New Year’s Eve goals has been a tradition of mine. That and my birthdays seems to be the times I let my imagination go wild. In 2024 I had a set-back of a psychotic episode with nine days in the hospital. I have not bounced back with vigor yet, but I’m on track to perhaps live a better life. I’m still switching meds and started ‘Chantix,’ which is for quitting cigarettes.
Goal 1
All the meds I’m on state alcohol is not recommended. Since 2016 I’ve been better with alcohol. I made it a rule not to go to bars by myself even though in Rockaway one is bound to see people they know. I limited it to social occasions. I had a get together in November, and the beer from that night is still in my fridge.
I have not touched weed since my stint in the hospital. A legal dispensary is right in my neighborhood, but I haven’t been in there. If I bought weed, I’d end up consuming it nightly. I think it should be legal federally, but I can’t do it. Lastly, the cigarettes and Nicorette got to go. I started the Chantix a day late. One does a full week before quitting, so I’ll quit on January 2nd.
For at least a year I’m going to commit to not consuming these substances.
Goal 2
Regularly painting is a goal of mine. 2024 has been my art year, I enjoy it, and after I finish a piece I feel happier. Most of my paintings get some likes on social media which boosts my ego. After my hospital stay, I did not make art for a few months. Then I ordered good acrylic paint with primary colors. It’s made a difference. In November I went to a painting demonstration and learned not to use as much water with acrylics. I also ordered 12 8×10 canvases and was able to paint all twelve and give them to family on thanksgiving for holiday gifts.I also sold 3 paintings this year.
Based on my experience with the smaller canvas size I ordered a box of 48 8×10’s to paint. And I have a deadline to paint them by my birthday in May. I happen to be turning 48 this year, so in my warped mind it makes sense to do that. If they are good maybe I can try to table at an art fair somewhere.
Goal 3
Get physical! I’ve accepted that I won’t skate regularly until spring. Since my hospital stay, I did not enjoy my skate sessions. I could barely ollie and even felt off balanced. I’m now off it but I was on a mood stabilizer that effected balance and made it difficult to sweat. If I skated once a week or once a month during winter, it would make no difference in my ability. I’d be better off doing calisthenics and getting in shape. Then in April skateboarding and progression would be easier to obtain. I’m over 200 pounds now, which is a lot for me.
This past week I started a new med, Lybalvi, that combines my anti-psychotic, Zyprexa, with that weight loss drug, Wegovy. I’m on a free three-month trial for that, and if my insurance doesn’t take it, I’ll go back to Zyprexa.
That’s the one thing that has been noticeable during my recovery, is a lack of stamina or motivation to exercise. I know the calisthenics routine I want to do, but I haven’t done it in a while. Snacks and the couch after work win every time. I’ve been wearing the cpap for sleep apnea for about three months now. I am getting better sleep, but I still wake up groggy. The whole transforming myself to a morning person did not happen.
Goal 4
Be financially responsible. One night shortly before my hospital stay, I took out two cash advances on my credit card to play blackjack. I plan to stay healthy and not do stupid things like that. I’m entering 2025 with no credit card debt and will try to be more frugal. I’ll take cheap vacations to spend with family. It’ll be interested to see how much I can save by 2026.
Goal 5
Finish my novel and decide then what steps to take with it. I used to joke that in 2015 and 2016 I was too blazed to type up that version. I like handwriting the first drafts because it forces you to plow ahead. When I tried typing first drafts, I usually get to page 50 and then revise way too early. I handwrote my current version from January 1st to October 5th of this year. I started typing in September. Typing from the beginning helped that final push to complete the story. After that though typing has turned into a chore. I’m near halfway through typing it, but it may take me a while. I’d like to finish typing before Spring.
Then I’ll revise it the best I can. I’m not going to cut too much. I used the three-act structure, so there should not be major things to shift around like in my previous attempts. After that I should try to get beta readers. I have a few good ones, but don’t want to ask them to read the same story again. And I don’t want to hand it out to a lot of people and then get no responses. That is deflating for a writer, to hear nothing. I’ll need to decide to query agents or self-publish it. Or I could simply be over it and move on. I want to make that decision this year.
Goal 6
Have a relationship, and more friendships. Reading over this entry for typos there is a lot of ‘I’s or stuff about me. It would be nice if I can share more ‘we’ stories. I think the dating apps are not good, but there are ways to meet people. I just need to be more open with people I meet. In NYC people come and go, and it’s important to know when to ask for a person’s contacts or not. I’ll try to get in shape this winter and then get myself out there.
If you read this far, thank you, and happy New Year. I hope you make some goals for yourself.
