Four months have passed since I was hospitalized for nine days. As I posted before I called the EMT on myself. The experience in the hospital was much better than in 2016 because I was compliant, I knew I had a problem. Insomnia triggered it, and this time around I did not have delusions of grandeur or hallucinations.
There was a disconnect with my former psychiatrist and the hospital staff. I took the new providers because they offered therapy with the deal. My old psychiatrist did help me avoid a second stay in the hospital this summer by adjusting my meds to a heavy dose a few days after I was released.
At the stay in the hospital they put me on a mood stabilizer which I’m now off of, and my meds have been adjusted since then as well. Basically my new providers focused on the mood variations and think I have bipolar. The meds are similar enough it may not matter.
But for my personal history maybe it would be good to know the difference. My understanding of it is bipolar people swing from devastating mania to severe depression. And schizo-affective people have that similar attribute and delusional thinking. Up until this year I fit the schizo-affective description.
At the hospital one of the therapist’s was surprised at how infrequent my episodes were. I had episodes in 1994, 1995, 1997, 2016, and this year. Maybe schizo-affective is more chronic, and harder to treat.
As I try to write about my experience I’m not sure which one to identify with. I believe I caught myself in time with the episode in summer. If I waited just a few days of insomnia it may have been worse. And the reason I’ve gotten better is from taking the meds as prescribed. I had one can of beer last weekend, but in general I don’t drink anymore. And I haven’t consumed weed either.
I don’t necessarily think partaking in weed caused this episode. I had four significant stressors happen at once that caused the insomnia. A EMT lady told me only two full nights of insomnia is enough to get medical attention. Looking back at the other three episodes I had stressors during each one of those. Weed probably doesn’t help and I won’t do it for a while. I’m not stating I’ll never do it again. Maybe by the time I retire they’ll know more about psychosis and weed in general.
For a few months after I got out of the hospital I did no art, but around Mid-October I started to really get into it. I ordered twelve 8 x 10 canvases and good paint and brushes. I got one more artwork to do, and then I’ll give twelve art pieces to my family members over Thanksgiving. Art feels like therapy in that I feel better every time I practice it.
If anyone reading this who has not seen my website for some time I paid to have it revamped. Bluehost and wordpress can be confusing and I made mistakes on connecting the shop through Printful. It’s working fine now, and I have over 20 art prints set up in the shop tab of my website. I hope they get more traction than my t-shirts.
I’ve been going to therapy weekly, and it’s different than I imagined. I talked to a friend the other night who was surprised with my personal history I never had therapy. The meds have worked so well, I thought I only needed my psychiatrist.
I saw the doctor this morning and told him I gained 10 pounds recently, and he prescribed a similar med but one that may curb appetite. I’ll trust that he knows what he’s prescribing. And the good thing about changing my medical provider is a whole hospital is connected to my care. So if I ever had insomnia again or thought I was on a verge of a relapse I simply go there and they’ll have my records on file.
One thing I forgot to tell the doctor is my skateboarding skills are at an all time low. I’m not quitting. I want to keep skating, and hopefully will get good at it. My novel rewrite means I think about skating all the time. I’ve typed up one-third of it, and I’m positive it’s a vast improvement from my previous attempts.
